Schizophrenic

Sometimes it becomes imperative for us to speak out loud our inner fears and to me it feels like last night's dream was something like that for my unconsciousness.

As it usually happens, my dreams tell me stories. Stories about the things I believe I'll write someday, stories that are meant for my personal reflections, stories that are meant to be felt and forgotten purposefully the next seconds I wake up. Last night's dream was about schizophrenia.

You see, my dear readers and friends, after I chose to devote myself to the study of the language phenomenon in humans I encountered a strange riddle: What the heck is schizophrenia? What happens in someone's brain when they're suffering from it?

Jompoma thinks that normally we all posses one discourse at the time. He believes that schizophrenia is a state of being host to various discourses, simultaneously.

In my dream it all came clear to me. Felt like a revelation, or something of the kind. I'll bet you'll understand. Have you ever felt that you're unable to wake up? It's like when you're having a bad dream or a very lousy one, but it is different from any common dream in a particular sense: YOU KNOW YOU ARE DREAMING AND YOU WISH TO WAKE UP!

Nothing happens at first. You try even harder to wake but it is fruitless. Slowly it begins to bother, rapidly it begins to annoy you, soon you find that you desperately need to escape from that critical state of self-being. You keep struggling against it, yet you're are weak and your body does not obey your commands. Suddenly and flooded by the biggest relief of the entiry world, you open your eyes. You are fully aware. Thanks God it had all gone away!!

In my dream I foresaw (or it felt like that at least, "mystic understanding", hehehe) that schizophrenia was a neverending moment of these awful dreams from which it was imposible to escape.

I think schizos do not dominate their actions, they're suffocated by this terrible feeling of chaos and ungovernabilty. They dream over dreams over dreams. Finally, if these episodes repeat over time (months, years, tens of years) your mind gets tired and you don't fight them back anymore. You become their slave. Sometimes they give you a rest and you seem as normal as you were before fot a short. Perhaps you're wise enough to destroy this maze of unconsciousness, perhaps it is the medication and your hope working together to win back your life and your awareness. If you are lucky you get back parts of your life. If you are not lucky... well... I rather be optimistic.

This is the awful and insightful dream I dreamed last night. I hope today's dream(s) will be more pleasant(s).

Do we us all not wish for this?

If you really believe we cannot act asleep... What are sleepwalkers then?